[PolarBear]

Someone had to continue this one.....

< Andys> oh dear
< Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon
< Andys> eg.   :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"

<Outpost> I love how everyone is blaming Obama for the oil spill..
<AnnoDomini> It's actually the British.
<Outpost> yeah, you'd think British Petroleum would've made that known.
<AnnoDomini> See, Americans dumped English tea into Boston Bay.
<AnnoDomini> The British, after biding their time for 237 years, have struck back.
<AnnoDomini> YOUR MOVE, AMERICA.
<Outpost> ...I am so in love with you right now.

<+Merrick> Ugh
<+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
<+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
<+Merrick> I HATE IT
<+FDR> are you a priest?
<+Merrick> No an altar boy

<Aussie> I was listening to some girls talking in a video store.
<Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her learners permit because she had used both hands to change gears.

<&||bass> GODDAMNIT
<&||bass> i'm searching for how to do something in java
<&||bass> i just checked in google
<&||bass> you know what the results are?
<&||bass> me posting in various forms asking how to fucking do it

<incluye> OH! Shit it's your birthday, isn't it.
<thom> Yeh
<incluye> I have something for you.
<thom> Really?!
<incluye> Yeah.
<incluye> localhostr.com/files/a19ydd/q.gif
<thom> WTF
<thom> It's just an animation of some dude getting a rag tied around his face
<incluye> I know.
<incluye> It's a gag gif.
* You have been kicked from the channel by thom (never speak to me again)

<ChaosTeacup> playing fucking?
<ChaosTeacup> fucking isnt a game, its a very very serious sport
<Chiri> it can be quite competitive
<ChaosTeacup> although its best if you end in a draw
<Chiri> but the professional leagues aren't very respected as a career path
<ChaosTeacup> its best to play in the minors
<ChaosTeacup> wait
<ChaosTeacup> no

[PolarBear]

<rdubyaj> dude this car I saw....
<rdubyaj> was really dusty
<rdubyaj> and someone had written on it "I wish my wife was this dirty"
<rdubyaj> and underneath that someone else had written "she is"

<GOD|away> Crackheads will rule this country! We will rise up! And teach you all that we are the superior race...
<GOD|away> WHITE POWDER!

<tic`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick

SpicyLemon: Jesus died for my sins.  I figure, it's best to not let him die in vain.  I sin as much as possible.

<livin> your cousin is a titerope walker, rite?
<luckyest> he committed suicide by jumping off during a performance two months ago.
<livin> maybe he was a bit *imbalanced*
<luckyest> you're a dick, you know that right?

<Rei> who lived in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
<Rei> who died in an oil spill because of bp, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

<Ardennes[Q]> fat people lag.
<guyman> lol
<Deviant> so your mom must have dced when she gave birth to you
<khagin> lmao

<Gper>Anyway, mates what's your New Year resolution?
<PowerBuddy> Gotta learn harder >.<
<RoznaM> Less porn, more chicks.
<Gper> Hej, Z, what's yours?
<Ziame> Thought about 1280x960

<windAd> haha, epic.
<Choonsen> What is?
<windAd> I set my password for my new keylogger program once it was up and running, got distracted by cooking ramen, came back and forgot the password
<Choonsen> Shit dude... you're retarded
<windAd> Noo, its all okay... I just went into the log files and found out what I typed while in the program. Two minutes later I now know that my password was 'ramenalmostdone'

<Party> asians are cool, it's the closest your ever gonna get to fucking an alien

<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night....
<yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda.
<yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
<yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing.  The timing on that was impeccable.

[...die]

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back

200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more

than 150 years ago.


Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of
250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".


One week later, the state's Dept of Minerals and Energy in Western Australia, reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Western Australia's Pilbara region, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught

archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f--k all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years

ago, Australia had already gone wireless."


Just makes you bloody proud to be Australian.

[PolarBear]

<rdubyaj> dude this car I saw....
<rdubyaj> was really dusty
<rdubyaj> and someone had written on it "I wish my wife was this dirty"
<rdubyaj> and underneath that someone else had written "she is"


<tic`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit
<MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick

[...die]

Baby, baby, baby, OOH!"

Dad:*walks in* "are you listening to Justin Beiber??"

Kid "no i am watching porn"

Dad: "OH THANK GOD

[PolarBear]

<MindSpark> So the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration
<MindSpark> After handing them to him , he asks who the car belongs to
<MindSpark> I tell him it's my wifes
<MindSpark> He asks if I have an authorization, because you have to have some proof that you're allowed to ride a car that's not yours
<MindSpark> I go "Sir, I ride the OWNER of this car personally with no authorization, do you really expect me to have an authorization to ride her car ?"
<MindSpark> Officer hands me back the papers in silence and salutes me

[...die]

I met a 14 year old girl on the Internet.                                 
She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.       
She turned out to be an undercover detective.                             
How cool is that at her age?!           
 
                                                                                               
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.             
She said I had to stop wanking.                                           
When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"           
 

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me.                                           
I mean, a ginger haired kid, with two friends?                             
 
 
When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.                                                                     
Took her out with one punch.                                               
                                                                           
                                                                           
I  was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.                                                       
I said "morning."                                                         
He replied, "No, just having a sh!t."                                     
                                                                           
                                                                           
Disabled toilets:                                                   
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.                 
                                                                           
                                                                           
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?                                             
                                                                           
                                                                           
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor  balcony shaking a carpet.                                     
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

[PolarBear]

<Kasran> did Jesus heal a bunch of people? Possibly
<Kasran> also apparently he was sin-free
<Kasran> but we don't hear much about his ciildhood
<Kasran> it's just
<Kasran> 1. Birth
<Kasran> 2.
<Kasran> 3. Prophet!

<Cthon98> so I waited until my friend bought a box of timbits and got back in the car
<Cthon98> (timbits being "donut holes" or whatever you yanks call them)
<Cthon98> and just as he was about to bit into one, I say
<Cthon98> "you ever notice how those look just like creamy shaved nuts?"
<Cthon98> so I now have a free box of timbits.

<mindbomb> anytime anyone refers to themselves as a 'foodie' I want to knock their fucking teeth out
<mindbomb> oh you like to eat food that tastes good? congratufuckinglations
<mindbomb> blog about it